Wise Words: Laurie Keller of "Cougar Town"

Just because Laurie Keller's lipstick shade lets people on the moon know she's tacky doesn't mean she's not wise. On this week's episode of Cougar Town ("Money Becomes King"), Ms. Keller lets Trav (and us) in on a few of her life philosophies.

From episode 309, "Money Becomes King".

1. Don't get hammered at brunch.

2. You gotta shake it til you make it. (Though it turns out this one is only really good for dance-offs or cocktails.)

From episode 309, "Money Becomes King".

3. Nothing ever works out unless you are in 100%.


Oh, and don't forget:

4. Never fight short-haired bitches.

From episode 309, "Money Becomes King".

Thanks for the wisdom, Laurie. Now, can we get a Krazy Kake?

Wise words: Tracy Jordan of "30 Rock"

Tracy's keys to success:

Screencap credit: lore-85.

1. Live every week like it's Shark Week.

2. Dress every day like you're going to be murdered in those clothes.



Origin: "30 Rock" episode 104, "Jack the Writer", written by Tina Fey and Robert Carlock.